How Complaints About Broccoli Led to Respectful Communication

 

Dear St. Thomas Community,

We’re thrilled to introduce a fresh approach to our Parent University series this year—we’re bringing the content straight to you in digital format! 

Each month, we’ll be sharing bite-sized features filled with practical parenting strategies, relatable stories, and a healthy dose of encouragement for all parents and caregivers of students of all grade levels.

These monthly topics will align with the Character of the Month we celebrate at St. Thomas in accordance with our Social Emotional Learning curriculum, Character Strong. Through these features, we’ll share ideas and inspiration to help foster Respect, Responsibility, Gratitude, Empathy, Perseverance, Honesty, Cooperation, Courage, and Creativity in your home. 

We’ll also be leaning on the strength of our wonderful community, sharing advice and stories from teachers, administrators, and your fellow parents at St. Thomas. Through highlighting voices of adults within our school community that come from different backgrounds, strengths, and experiences, we will gain new perspectives and discover new tools that will help us best support our children. We’re looking forward to a meaningful year of learning and collaboration! 

To kick off this new digital Parent University series, I’m excited to share some insight and tips for how you can not just help your child understand and value respect, but live it day to day both at school and at home.

 

Modeling respectful communication begins with us, and let's be honest—it's not always easy. 

Luciana De Benedictis, School Counselor at St. Thomas Episcopal Parish School

 

September’s Value of the Month: RESPECT

One definition of respect we use at school is: “Seeing value in all people and things, and treating them with care.”

Respect is a vital character—it touches everything we do. This month, we’re focusing on one specific area: respectful communication: how we speak and we listen to each other.

Children are often called sponges, but sometimes it’s more accurate to think of them as mirrors. They reflect back what they see and hear from us. So when we lose our cool after saying "Put your shoes on” for the 37th time"… they notice. Modeling respectful communication begins with us, and let’s be honest, it’s not always easy.

Not long ago, I found myself yelling, “DINNER IS READY!” for the fourth time. Later that night, my kids and I talked about it. One of them suggested I give a five-minute warning before dinner, so they’d have time to wrap up what they were doing and come to the table calmly. That one suggestion led to a much more peaceful evening the next day.

We have all had situations where our children have not used the most respectful or effective communication skills. I remember a time when broccoli was not a popular choice at our home. “Broccoli is gross and I’m not eating it”, wasn’t the most respectful dinner review. However, it provided an opportunity to discuss more thoughtful responses like, “Thank you for cooking. Broccoli isn’t my favorite, but I’ll eat a little. Could we maybe have carrots next time?”

 

When it comes to respect, listening matters just as much as speaking. At school, our students practice active listening: the skill of fully focusing on what someone is saying, including their words and feelings.

Our teachers model this daily, and morning meetings are a great time to practice: making eye contact, waiting their turn to speak, and showing they’re engaged. One of my favorite games to practice this is called “Story Time”.  To play, each person adds a sentence to a story, but first must recap what the previous person said. It’s simple, fun, and a great way to practice respectful, focused listening at home. Make sure there are no devices or distractions around the room when you play.

 

Want to Learn More?

Below are some great children’s books by grade level to read as a family to keep the conversation about respectful communication going. These are two of my personal favorites:

Preschool & Kindergarten

Interrupting Chicken by David Ezra Stein — A beloved and hilarious picture book perfect for reading aloud. It helps kids understand the importance of not interrupting and keeps everyone laughing along the way.

Grades 1–5

My Mouth Is a Volcano! by Julia Cook — A laugh-out-loud story that teaches children the importance of waiting their turn to speak and how to respect others’ voices in conversation.

 

 

Just like our kids, we’re growing too (and maybe still hiding the vegetables on our plates!). I’d love to hear how your family is exploring the value of respect this month.

Let’s keep learning, laughing, and figuring it out together, like a true village.