The Courage to Lead and Let Go: A Conversation with Tina van der Ven

Courage can be defined as “choosing what is helpful, right, and kind even when it is hard or scary.” Courage is not the absence of fear. It is about seeing situations as opportunities and moving forward despite feeling afraid. Modeling courage and encouraging children to practice this virtue is important because it helps them build resilience, confidence, and integrity.

 

This month, we’re excited to explore Courage alongside Tina van der Ven, proud parent of Ethan ‘24 and Sienna ‘27.

Tina van der Ven is a strategist, communicator, and connector — and that combination drives everything she does today. As Founder and CEO of vdV Consulting, her Miami-based boutique firm, Tina works with clients across professional services, including legal, healthcare, nonprofit, real estate, technology, and design sectors, delivering public relations, marketing, business development, and strategy services that are creative, efficient, and built to last.

Before founding vdV Consulting, Tina built expertise across healthcare, consulting, and BigLaw. She began her career as a clinical researcher at Brigham and Women’s Hospital before moving into healthcare marketing through consulting roles at Ernst & Young and Enzyme, Inc. That expertise carried her into BigLaw, where she served as Director of Marketing at Greenberg Traurig, leading regional marketing, business development, strategy, and communications at one of the world’s most prominent law firms. She also co- founded NewStar Media, further sharpening her entrepreneurial footing before launching her own firm.

Tina’s community involvement spans board leadership, committee work, and civic engagement. She currently serves on the Board of Trustees of St. Thomas Episcopal Parish School and the Board of Directors of Lotus House (Sundari Foundation) and serves on the Al and Jane Nahmad Women’s Cancer Center Committee and the Miami Homes For All Engagement Committee. She is a former co-chair of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Miami and has served on the boards of Kristi House and the Downtown Miami Charter School. She has also co-chaired the United Way Women United Breakfast and the Miami City Ballet Nutcracker Magic Soirée.

She has been named a “Power Leader in Marketing” by the South Florida Business Journal, a “Woman of Style” by Miami Magazine, and received the Miami Women Who Rock “Woman of the Year” Award. Additional honors include induction into the American Cancer Society “Inner Circle of Twelve” and the NSU University School “Hall of Fame,” as well as the “Wonder Woman” Award from BBBS Miami and the “Academic Inspiration Award” from Take Stock in Children.

Tina holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Miami and a master’s degree in public health from Boston University. She lives in Coconut Grove with her husband, Alex, and their two children.
 

Growing up navigating loss, starting over, and earning acceptance despite cultural barriers—that entire experience is what taught me what courage actually looks like.

Tina van der Ven, Proud Parent of Ethan '24 and Sienna '27; Founder & CEO of vdV Consulting

 

To help us as parents foster courage at home with our children, we asked Tina to share her perspective on how to make courage a meaningful part of family life. Drawing from her experiences as both a parent, entrepreneur, and philanthropist, Tina offers practical insights into encouraging children and adolescents to embody courage.

 

Q: Thinking back to your own childhood, what experiences helped shape your understanding of courage?

Tina: The foundation of my understanding of courage was built through my family's journey of leaving Iran and building a life in the US from the ground up.

I was born in Tehran, Iran in 1979, and at three months old, my parents fled during the Revolution with me and two suitcases, leaving behind their home, family, friends, careers, and everything they had built. They eventually settled in Davie, Florida.

My father was brilliant, a true savant, and still, no one would hire him. The political tension between Americans and Iranians at the time made sure of that. Life was hard. He ended up buying the oldest body shop in Fort Lauderdale, learned the trade from scratch, and together with my mother successfully raised four children.

Growing up navigating loss, starting over, and earning acceptance from peers despite cultural barriers — that entire formative experience is what taught me what courage actually looks like. And I know many families in South Florida, and at STEPS, carry similar stories

 

Q: Who were the role models in your life that demonstrated courage, and how did they influence you?

Tina: Courage is the ability to act rightly or pursue what matters despite fear, pain, uncertainty, or adversity. Not the absence of fear, but moving forward in spite of it.

By that definition, my parents were the prime example. Losing everything, starting over in a small town where they knew no one, acclimating to an entirely new country, and knowing there was no room for pity. It was survival. That, to me, is the greatest demonstration of courage.

With every rejection my father faced, with every hurdle life threw at my mother, including losing her father to a stroke shortly after arriving in the US, they kept their heads high, dusted themselves off, and never gave up.

The words of wisdom they shared with me growing up have always stayed with me: confront fear, be proud of who you are and where you come from, do not shrink yourself for others, always give back to your community, and never ever give up. That guidance is what gave me the courage to pursue leadership roles in the corporate world, start my own businesses, join and lead nonprofit boards, and ultimately, start a family. And parenthood itself is a constant test of courage. The greatest one of all.

 

Courage is the ability to act rightly or pursue what matters despite fear, pain, uncertainty, or adversity—not the absence of fear, but moving forward in spite of it.

Tina van der Ven, Proud Parent of Ethan '24 and Sienna '27; Founder & CEO of vdV Consulting

 

Q: How can parents create an environment where children feel safe to take risks and try new things?

Tina: Introducing our children to sports and after-school activities from a young age has had a profound impact on their independence and willingness to take risks and try new things, and we let them lead the way.

We enrolled both kids in Super Soccer Stars as toddlers. Ethan started playing baseball at three, stuck with it for years, and eventually pivoted to basketball. He now plays on a travel team. Sienna found a deep love for the arts and danced and performed — ballet, jazz, tap, and hip hop — for years. Today, she plays lacrosse and Beth Am basketball.

Every sport, activity, and experience they chose taught them resilience, discipline, team camaraderie, and confidence. In any competitive environment, your sense of self and self-confidence are paramount. Yes, you play for the team, but you go out there and give your best.

At home, we reinforce that with conversations about grace. That we are all human, and we all make mistakes. It is okay for something to be hard. We do not run away from challenges, or from the fear of failure and rejection. We want our kids to try new things, see them through from start to finish, and walk away having learned something about the activity, and more importantly, about themselves.

For the past several years, we have also sent both kids to sleepaway camp in Maine for almost seven weeks. Ethan and Sienna have thrived there, making new friends, trying new activities, and taking risks in an environment completely their own. Watching them forge strong relationships and grow in their independence has been one of the most rewarding things to witness as a parent.

 

Q: How can we help children see mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than something to avoid?

Tina: I remember two distinct moments when Ethan and Sienna were each struggling with this. They started coming home from school worried about mistakes they were making on tests and homework.

For both of them, I used an analogy someone once shared with me: the pencil and eraser. Why does a pencil have an eraser? Because we make mistakes. It sounds simple, but it actually resonated.

The more powerful tool, however, has been modeling. Alex and I talk openly about our own failures and mistakes, personally and professionally, and share some of those experiences with our kids at an age-appropriate level. Owning a mistake, discussing it, and moving forward is something they need to see us do, not just hear us talk about. I believe in the power of "show me, don't tell me."

When one of our kids makes a mistake, the message is consistent: it is okay. Keep trying. Do not let the mistake hold you back. The question we ask is not "what went wrong?" but "what did you learn?" We want them to walk away from a mistake with something gained, not with the reflexive need to apologize every time something goes wrong. Some mistakes do warrant an apology, and we teach that too. But not every mistake requires one. What every mistake requires is the willingness to move forward.

The bigger truth we want them to understand is that no one is perfect. What you see on TV, YouTube, or social media is not reality. What matters is trusting yourself, showing up, and doing your best, whatever that means to you. When you commit to that, the fear of failure loses its power.

 

We do not run away from challenges or from the fear of failure and rejection; we want our kids to try new things, see them through, and learn something about themselves.

Tina van der Ven, Proud Parent of Ethan '24 and Sienna '27; Founder & CEO of vdV Consulting

 

Q: How do you model courage in your own life for your children?

Tina: Life has a tendency to test us, in our personal lives, in our professional lives, and sometimes both at once. There have been several defining moments in my life where, according to Ethan, I modeled courage:

• Leaving a job I loved to take care of family matters
• Starting a new business from scratch
• Watching my father battle Lewy body dementia and Parkinson's
• Picking myself up after losing him

Those were some of the hardest moments of my life. But courage was the only path forward. I had two young children, a fast-paced career, and people counting on me: my mother, my siblings, my kids, my husband, and my clients. Like my parents when they came to this country, the only option was to be brave and show up.

I try to help my kids understand that everyone has a story, a battle, a challenge, an obstacle. That is simply part of life. What defines us is not the setback itself, but how we move through it.

 

Q: What role does perseverance play in developing courage?

Tina: Perseverance and courage are inseparable. You cannot have one without the other.

I look at my husband, Alex. He is an orthopedic surgeon, making high-stakes decisions, navigating complex cases, and showing up fully for his patients while managing the demands of a home and family. I have had a front row seat to his entire journey. We met 25 years ago, before he started medical school, and I have watched firsthand what it takes. Ten years of training. Long nights studying, preparing for boards, sleep exhaustion, and carrying the weight of that pressure year after year. All of it required equal parts courage and perseverance. He is, in every sense of the word, the embodiment of both.

I have carried those same lessons into my own life. Starting new businesses, navigating the loss of my father, showing up for my family during some of the hardest moments. None of that was possible without perseverance. Courage gets you to take the first step. Perseverance is what keeps you moving when the steps get harder.

We try to instill that same connection in our kids. Whether it is pushing through a tough stretch on a basketball team, getting through a hard week at sleepaway camp, or navigating a challenging school year, we remind Ethan and Sienna that the willingness to keep going, even when it is hard, is what builds courage over time.

 

Courage gets you to take the first step—perseverance is what keeps you moving when the steps get harder.

Tina van der Ven, Proud Parent of Ethan '24 and Sienna '27; Founder & CEO of vdV Consulting

 

Q: How can parents encourage children to do what is right and kind, even when it is difficult?

Tina: At its core, this starts at home. As parents, it is our job to teach our children what is right and kind, and then to show them what it looks like in practice.

Alex introduced a concept in our house drawn from a Clint Eastwood film: that the world has three types of animals: the sheep, the wolf, and the sheepdog. Wolves prey on sheep. And you have a choice in who you want to be. We encourage our kids to be sheepdogs, to protect, to do what is right, and to lead with civility even when it is hard.

That is the lens we ask them to apply when faced with a difficult moment: standing up for someone who is being treated unfairly, telling the truth when it is not easy, or doing the right thing even when it potentially comes at a social cost.

We want Ethan and Sienna to understand that kindness and doing what is right are not passive. They require action. And sometimes, they require courage.

 

Q: What advice would you give parents who want to nurture courage but don't know where to start?

Tina: Start with introspection. One of the hardest parts of parenting is confronting our own fear of watching our kids fail or struggle. That innate need to protect them from discomfort, left unchecked, actually works against courage. We have to make peace with the fact that our kids will face rejection, pain, and adversity in school, in sports, with friends, and in relationships. That is not failure. That is life.

Teaching your kids self-love and self-respect is an equally important part of courage. Yes, being a sheepdog means protecting others, but it also means respecting yourself. Teach them that early. It will serve as a guiding light long after your direct influence fades.

Courage starts earlier than we think. It starts at the park or on the playground, when a child has the courage to walk up to someone they don't know, introduce themselves, and ask if they can play. That small act is the beginning of everything.

As a practical starting point, get your kids involved in activities. Let them try new things. Be positive and encouraging. If they have a hard day or get frustrated, practice with them at home. Let them know it is okay to feel frustrated, and that with time, patience, and practice, it gets easier. And remind yourself that kids are kids. These activities are meant to be fun. The minute the fun fades, the lesson stops.

Model it yourself. Live it. Talk about it openly at home. Just last week, I told my kids how nervous I was to speak publicly at a fundraising event, even though I work in public relations and marketing. I have spoken at events throughout my life. I media train clients for a living. And yet, there I was, completely nervous. Instead of me being the one cheering them on, my kids were the ones assuring me the speech was going to go well. And that support helped. I want Ethan and Sienna to know that even as adults, we continue to face fears and experience challenges. And when they see that, they learn that courage is not reserved for childhood. It is something we practice for the rest of our lives.