Building Responsibility: Helping Children Strengthen Executive Function Skills

At St. Thomas, October’s Value of the Month is Responsibility, which we define as “taking action and understanding the impact of our choices.”

It’s a simple idea, but one that takes real practice to master. As children grow, learning to manage their time, stay organized, and follow through on commitments are all key parts of becoming responsible. These life skills fall under an important umbrella term: executive function.

To dive deeper into this topic, we turned to someone who knows it best—Mrs. Corey Gonzalez, one of the Student Support Facilitators in our Center for Excellence. With nearly two decades in the classroom, a master’s degree in education from the University of Miami, and a national certification as an ADHD/Life Coach she completed last year thanks to St. Thomas' InSpire Grant initiative, Mrs. Gonzalez works closely with students, parents, and teachers in grades 3-5 to help children grow as thinkers, planners, and problem-solvers.

We sat down with Mrs. Gonzalez to explore how parents and educators can support executive function at home and school, and how doing so helps children develop responsibility in lasting ways.

Small wins build confidence—achieving every big goal starts with one small step.

Corey Gonzalez, Student Support Facilitator at St. Thomas Episcopal Parish School

Q: What executive function skills are most important for children in elementary school?

Mrs. Gonzalez: Executive function skills are mental processes that help us manage daily life. In elementary school, we focus on key areas like attention, self-control, flexibility, task initiation, planning, and organization. These skills allow children to stay on track, manage their emotions, and build independence—all essential parts of being responsible.

Q: How can I tell if my child is struggling with executive function, versus just being a “typical kid”?

Mrs. Gonzalez: Every child needs reminders now and then, but if challenges begin to interfere with daily routines or impact self-esteem, that’s when we look closer. The best step parents can take is to partner with your child’s teacher to get a full picture of when and where your child is struggling. Patterns across environments are a helpful indicator.

Q: What simple routines or strategies at home can strengthen my child’s planning and organization skills?

Mrs. Gonzalez: Simple, consistent routines go a long way, and build ownership and responsibility over time. Try:

• Making checklists together and letting your child check off completed tasks.
• Using a family calendar to plan ahead for assignments or events.
• Laying out clothes, backpacks, and sports gear the night before.
• Designating a calm workspace at home with minimal distractions.
• Modeling organization—show how you would tidy their backpack, then guide your child toward doing it independently.

Q: How can I support my child when they feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or stuck starting a task?

Mrs. Gonzalez: Break the task down into smaller “mini” steps and provide short breaks in between. This approach makes big goals feel less overwhelming and helps kids experience success along the way. Small wins build confidence—achieving every big goal starts with one small step.

Q: What can teachers and parents do together to create consistent support for executive function growth?

Mrs. Gonzalez: Communication and consistency are key. If something works well at school, like a checklist for morning routines, bring that same strategy home for their bedtime routine. When children experience success through familiar systems in both environments, their confidence and self-management skills soar.

Q: How do these skills change as children transition from early grades to upper elementary?

Mrs. Gonzalez: As children mature, their attention span lengthens, they can follow multi-step directions, and they show greater flexibility when plans change. You’ll notice them adapting to new environments with more confidence and self-control. It’s a beautiful progression to watch!

Q: What are signs that my child might benefit from additional support?

Mrs. Gonzalez: If executive function challenges begin to significantly affect your child’s schoolwork, emotions, or relationships, it may be time to seek extra help. Watch for:

• Persistent trouble organizing or following directions
• Falling behind academically
• Frequent frustration, anxiety, or low self-esteem
• Difficulty with transitions
• Trouble making or keeping friends due to impulsivity or misunderstanding social cues

 

Helping children strengthen their executive function skills is one of the most effective ways to nurture responsibility. With practice, patience, and partnership between home and school, our students learn what it truly means to take action and understand the impact of their choices.

Special thanks to Mrs. Corey Gonzalez for sharing her expertise and guidance through this Parent University feature, helping our community better understand how to support children as they grow in both skill and responsibility. Looking to learn more? Take a look at the recommended books from Mrs. Gonzalez to continue honing in on this key skill:

For adults:
Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare

For children:
The Worst Day of My Life EVER! by Julia Cook